* What to Do When I Don't Know What to Do

With the end of my stay in Egypt approaching all too quickly, I have been overwhelmed with whirl of thoughts and emotions—sadness, anxiousness, love, homesickness, passion, plans, worry, peace, fear, trust, job, grad school, family, friends, and the list goes on. I was talking with a precious friend today about this place in life I find myself. Though I am going back to all that is familiar, it is like staring into an abyss of unknown. For the first time in my life I cannot see what lies just around the bend. It is frightening, but I trust God. And yet in the midst if my unshakable faith, anxiousness pervades my person. A few moments ago while thumbing through an old notebook a loose paper fell out. As I read this paper I had written at the age of eighteen I had entitled, “What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do.” I was overwhelmed and a rushing wave of emotion and peace came over me. How timely this old paper was to my life! Perhaps it was coincidence, but I believe it was God answering my prayers of “What on earth am I supposed to be doing with my life next?!” I thought I would post this old paper I found:

Well, I was planning all along to write about my missions trip to Thailand this summer that completely changed my life, and about our job as Christians to reach to lost for Christ, but
I have completely changed my mind.

No one would guess, but my life has been in a tizzy since I left for college last year. I have been a mess between my changing passions and desires, and what degree I want pursue among several minor health scares and concerns, the “freshman fifteen,” and trying to find and follow God’s will in the midst of it all, and other things I won’t dare go on about.

In the chaos of my confusion I did not know what to do, finding myself at a scary place stuck between the lightheartedness and carefree days of girlhood and high school (though I did not view it like that at the time) and adulthood—not knowing where on earth life was taking me, or even where I wanted it to take me. Yet one thing is for sure: this time in life is here and speeding by without giving me a chance to think about it, and I have to hop on board this wagon or else...!

There are a lot of young people my age who probably never felt that way—who may have known, or thought they knew, where they were going or what they wanted. And if not, were content with the adventure of not knowing. What I am getting at is not what to do when you are stuck between childhood and adulthood, but to reiterate the lesson I have all heard time and time again of what to do when I do not know what to do.

My mom recently gave me a CD of a sermon that entitled just that—“What to do when you don’t know what to do,” which actually proved to be of little or no help to me whatsoever. At the same time, it gave a little truth that has been so comforting at times. The speaker talked about Joseph and all the trials he went through, and gist of it was that through it all, “God was with him.” That has been a source of encouragement to me to know that no matter what, God is with me.

But I am going to be honest; I thought, “Well, that’s great to know that God is with me through my confusion and seemingly aimless wandering—but so what?! What does it matter if God is with me but isn’t doing anything? So what if God is with me but I’m still miserable, in the depths of despair, and feel the entire universe and all who are in it are out to eat me alive, and I’m doomed to whither away in the utter depths of the dungeon of hell on earth with no ambition in my life!” Ok, a bit of an overstatement.

That is when I decided to go to my Bible and see what it said in relation to being in God’s will and what to do when I don’t know what to do or, or feel like I’m wandering aimlessly through life. I came across so many blessed scriptures. I don’t have any great words of wisdom or knowledge to share of my own so I will let God's Word do it for me.

Prov. 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and Lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and He will make your paths straight.

Phil. 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Rom. 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.

Is. 58:11
The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.

1 Peter 5:6-7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your cares on him because he cares for you.

At the same time, though God is all-powerful and does not need our help, we cannot use these verses as an excuse for being idle but we need to be proactive :

2 Peter 1:10-11
Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

2 Cor. 9:6
Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.

I’ve learned that not always knowing where in life I’m going or what I need to be doing is okay, if I simply trust God to lead me and guide me, and that in all things, God works for the good of those of love him. So I’ll close with another common verse we all know:

Jer. 29:11-13
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

I need to let the Divine have the driver’s seat, and enjoy the ride. It just may take me to where I truly want to go.