The past couple weeks I have been in Springfield, MO for my pre-field orientation as a new missionary associate. I met Cathy in the parking lot of Applebees after eating with a few fellow young MAs-to-be. Cathy actually approached us first—asking for money. I wish it had been as beautiful a situation as Peter and John at the temple gates when Peter said to the crippled man, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ…” and he walked away jumping and praising God. Things certainly did not go as smoothly with Cathy, yet we poured our entire evening into her.
Cathy, a young homeless woman about thirty years old, revealed that she had been through a lot which led to her being on the streets, that she had trusted the wrong people and “got burned.” One of the saddest parts Cathy shared with us was that she felt worthless—she said all people think she is good for is “cheap sex with filthy men.” I think she enjoyed being able to vent to a few people who actually cared for her as she expressed her situation and struggles with us for quite awhile—even after realizing she was not getting much money from us. The hurt and pain this homeless woman experienced every moment of her life broke my heart. The worst part of Cathy’s situation is that she did not have the strength of the Lord in her life to get her through, or His morals and statutes to hold herself accountable to. In fact, she blamed God for her situation.
When we breifly spoke of Christ with her; she would not accept what we had to say. Then she took over the dialogue explaining that she had "tried" God before, and He did not change her situation, so there was no point in Him. We realized that what she meant by “trying God” was not at all Salvation nor surrender to or trust in Him. Cathy had “tried God” in the sense that she just thought God should fix her situation if He was really God and really loved her, with no action or commitment on her part. If God would give her a good, successful, and meaningful life, only then would she serve Him. We explained Christ’s true love and true Message to her, but she would not accept what we said. Our friend, fully sober as far as we could tell, ended up cursing in frustration towards God and to us for our faith in Him. Since she was so wound up, we thought that at this point after our lengthy conversation with her, the best thing to do would be to calm her down, offer to pray with her, and leave. She calmed down and we did offer to pray with her which she gladly accepted—initially. As we were beginning she suddenly changed her mind walked away in a rampage.
It was a difficult and unexpected encounter. And her words about my Lord stung. In my time with Street Hope at college I never experienced such a reaction to Christ—I encountered Muslims on the streets of Dallas that were more receptive and respectful towards the Gospel than this woman, and I never encountered someone who refused prayer. It was hurtful—I hurt not for myself, but for Cathy, and for my God whose heart I know breaks for this woman.
The positive side of this is that Cathy, this woman who consumed our entire evening, encountered some genuine love and concern. We did not have much time left so we decided to spend that time to pray for Cathy. We went back to the grounds we were staying at and prayed together specifically for her and her situations over the next hour. In addition to many things related to her struggles and situation, we asked the Lord to soften her heart, to remember and think about the Message we shared, and that the Lord would strategically send others into her life to show her He truly does care.
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