Wednesday, July 29, 2009

* Egypt 2

Hello friends and family!

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas! As I go into my fifth month here in Egypt, the Lord continues to teach me so many things through the people and culture. At the end of the year I’m not sure whose life will be most touched and changed—those I encounter in ministry efforts, or my own life. Each day I feel I am finding my place here a little better and clearer, and I am so thankful to be here and have genuinely fallen in love with so many people.

Thanksgiving was a little bit of an adventure. I volunteered to bring several items that my family usually cooks for Thanksgiving to the dinner at the Wommack’s with other local missionaries and an Egyptian family. The night before Thanksgiving I could not find many of the crucial ingredients (such as sweet potatoes for sweet potato casserole!). So I decided I would just wake up early Thanksgiving morning and go hunt down the missing ingredients. I walked a few miles asking every street vendor I could find for sweet potatoes. It turns out that instead of asking for orange potatoes in Arabic, I had been asking for an orange father or something that was not correct and got my many weird, confused looks and a few hearty laughs! I finally found some sweet potatoes and made that casserole!

Simple everyday living here certainly comes with challenges in comparison to the American living I’m used to, and can be a little frustrating at times. Some of it has to do with Egypt, some of it just has to do with living without a mom. For example, if I ever want to eat, I have to cook (imagine that!). Often I have to cook from scratch—though many American conveniences are imported, they are expensive and some everyday cooking ingredients (like Rotel Tomatoes and American relish) aren’t here at all. But I’ve learned new ways of doing things! I didn’t know things like tomato paste, relish, and soup could be made without a can! Anyway, in order to cook, I have to grocery shop; to grocery shop, I have to take a taxi. So much is in Arabic which a challenge in itself to this new-comer. Our flat doesn’t have a dishwasher so dishes must be washed by hand, we don’t have a dryer so clothes must be hung out on the line five stories high to dry. I don’t mind at all, it’s all just time-consuming. The wonderful things about all of this are that I have realized that American conveniences are not absolutely necessary,
I’ve learned new ways of doing things, and learned to enjoy the adventures each new day lends itself to (like taxi rides!).

Another recent adventure was my first experience at the outdoor meat market. My roommates and I needed chicken and decided to save money and not get frozen, so we went to the market where we picked out our live chicken. The man then broke its wings when he grabbed it from the cage and plopped it on the scale. Then he took our little chicken, which I named Clucky, as she squawked bloody murder to a table where he slit her throat and chopped off her head right in front of us! He threw her headless body into a bucket where little Clucky kept going crazy. And I was expected to eat our chicken after we put her through all that?! I had to turn around and fight back tears as I said there was absolutely no way I could eat that chicken we murdered. A couple days later I got over it and cooked her, learning that whole chickens come with guts. She was actually quite tasty, and now I’m going on Clucky the Second tomorrow night!

While life here is sometimes rough, comical, and even a wonderful adventure, that is certainly not what has captured my heart and passion in an indescribable, irreversible way. It is the people. To my surprise, the people group I have most fallen in love with and with whom I have found the greater portion of meaning and significance in my being here is the foreign community youth. While many of these kids are Egyptian or half-Egyptian, most are from a variety of foreign. I adore these kids more than I can express. It is my prayer to be there for them the way the Lord would have me be, to love them, to challenge them and encourage them to pursue lives of whole hearted, passionate, genuine love for our Savior; to follow Him with everything inside of them, to be a leader in the faith and seek to know Him and grow in Him more and more each day. I love teaching Sunday school, I love leading youth group with my roommates and Jon, I love leading the girls’ Bible study. I love each of these TCKs and pray the Lord will allow me to somehow be His hands and feet and mouthpiece to touch their lives for Him.

The whole youth group experience has been stretching for me. I have learned, more now than ever, that I am completely inadequate and incapable in my humanity. But I have also learned and know full well, more now than ever before, that I have a God who promises to lead me by the hand through each week, each talk, each service, each devotion to accomplish whatever task is before me with efficiency if I humbly submit to and wholeheartedly trust Him. I am in awe of the greatness of God in our human lives—just to see Him at work in the lives of the youth as they open up their hearts and seek Him is amazing beyond description.

Last Friday during youth service there was a moment when I was flooded with a rushing wave of emotion and love and passion, and thought it may touch your heart like it touched mine. Each teen was handed a piece of paper and a pen, and encouraged during worship to write praises of thankfulness to the Lord. Later we asked the kids to feel free to share something they had written if they were willing. As we sat there in worship teens would randomly read their papers aloud. It was overwhelming to hear them say what they did: “Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness. I honor you; my delight is in you; there is no one else for me;” “Lord, you are great. You surpass all earthly power. You have taken me from the land of my ancestors, opened my eyes to what is truly good. You have blessed me; you have redeemed my family. Help me to overcome my sin;” “I am not perfect but I will still surrender to you. Help me to have a pure heart and a clear conscience;” “Lord, I give you my future. Take it and let it be yours;” “Lord, you are great and powerful because without you, I am nothing, and with you, I am made into something great. All I have and all I am is all because of your presence in my life. Thank you for giving me love and good things, for forgiving every sin I have done and do;” “You are good, powerful, and great, Lord, because you care for me even when I feel I have no worth. Thank you for being you, for loving me, for saving me. Thank you for making me me, and for being you. Thank you that you are immeasurable and loving and don’t care how many flaws I have. Thank you that you love even a broken offering.”

As I sat there listening to teenagers share their hearts and what the Lord means to them, tears welled up in my eyes and I thought THIS is what we were created to do—THIS is what we live for. It is because if Him that we live and breath and are blessed. Without Him, I am nothing—but in Him I find my identity, purpose, belonging, passion, and love.

Between organizing the youth group’s Christmas human video production and the children’s Christmas play, making costumes, etc., I continue to [attempt] to learn Arabic, teach English to four girls from the Lillian Trasher Orphanage, and teach at the Sudanese refugee school. They are a hilarious, joyful, and energetic bunch to say the least—and I adore them as well.

While on an assignment, AGWM allows one-year term MAs a two-week vacation.
After much thought and prayer, I decided Christmas break would be the ideal
time to use it as that will be about the mid-way point for my time here, and
things such as youth group and schools will be shutting down for the holidays. So I will be going home for Christmas December 13th! I am SO excited to see my family and
friends in Texas for a couple weeks, and look forward to returning to Egypt after Christmas to finish the second half of my assignment, and spend the Egyptian Christmas (Jan. 7th) at the Lillian Trasher Orphanage in Assiout, about a 7 hour train ride to Upper Egypt.

Jon, one of the youth leaders, has decided to return to the States in January to continue college. He plays a big role as he is our only male leader. Please pray for me and my roommates to have to the wisdom, guidance, and leadership to efficiently lead and disciple this group. Pray that the Lord would continue to stretch me, to help me embrace the joys as well as the stresses of daily life in Egypt, and that He would guide me as I prepare and present talks for youth service. Thank you so much for your prayers and support. May God bless you this Christmas season as we celebrate His Son!

Much Love,

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* Egypt 1

Hello and greetings from Cairo!

I am going on two months here in Egypt and have already experienced so much! It has truly been a joy to be here and to get to know so many of the people, and I am finally settling into what I feel will be my main areas of work while here.

When I first arrived, I was privileged to be able to fill a need as the middle school and high school Bible teacher at an international school for English speaking Christian families here for business or missions. It was a delightful experience, but quite grueling because I had not planned on teaching and it was a big commitment with grading, lesson plans, and teaching each day on top of the planned work arranged for me to do. I love the school, but had told the principal at the beginning of the school year that I was happy to teach since there was a need, but would be glad to be relieved if the Lord brought another teacher her way. Well, someone came along who was willing to teach! I enjoyed teaching these kids and am so thankful for the experience! But I am also thankful to be able to have the time and energy to do the other things I came here to do.

Twice a week my roommate and I go teach English at a Sudanese refugee school. I absolutely love the Sudanese people—more than I can express. They are such precious people. They've been through so much—many kids express having seen war in their land; they are displaced, away from their homeland, away from many family members; they are poor and resented by the most of the Egyptians here. And yet these people smile. They have little to be happy about it seems, and yet they smile and laugh and are just a joy to be around. I love them dearly. The teaching aspect certainly comes with its challenges though—the younger ones are quite a rowdy bunch. I have learned a lot of patience since I have been here and am learning to just “roll with it” and join them in their laughter and silliness—even if we don’t quite get through a lesson. One of the biggest things I am learning through the various people and situations I encounter is that my being here is not so much about agenda (such as getting through a certain lesson or being somewhere on time or accomplishing my personal tasks of daily living) as much as it is about relationship and community—giving people the time of day, genuinely caring about them above accomplishing their lesson, or my grocery shopping, or being on time for my next engagement.

I have really enjoyed tutoring English to four Egyptian girls who grew up in the Lillian Trasher Orphanage. They are young adults trying to make it on their own now out of the orphanage. A nurse missionary has taken them under her wing and pays them to work in her clinic, and is helping them better their potential for the future—one aspect of that is mastering the English language, and I’m glad to be a small part of it. These girls (about my age) have become dear friends.

I also go and work in Garbage Village each week with the handicapped people—this is indeed the hardest thing I do. I am constantly fighting gag reflex, paranoid about lice (which I got AGAIN this week). It is so hard because I see these mentally and physically handicapped people and I think to myself, “God, WHY? Why are they like that? They are a burden on the people who care for them, on society; they have been abandoned by their families, they have so much hardship and they don’t even seem to ‘get’ life or You or even how to feed themselves. They only suffer in this state of being.” Then the terrible thought passes through my head that I immediately make myself dismiss: “Wouldn’t they be better off if they...weren’t? How can life on this Earth be better for them than in heaven, fully restored and in the arms of Christ?” And a wave of conviction comes crashing over me: are they not just as human as I am? Does Christ not love them equally as much? Does He not have a purpose and plan for them just as He does for me? Did He not knit them together and know them even in their mother’s womb? I’m a sinner even in my full mental capabilities—so how am I any ‘better’ a sinner than they are? If my own thoughts are not conviction enough, one of the girls hugs me in the midst of my thoughts and says “Habeepti” (which means “my love”); then a little later while we are trying to feed them, one girl will not eat and I see tears stream down her eyes as she mumbles something over and over in Arabic. I ask what she is saying; it is “I’m sad. I’m sad. I’m sad.” I realize this mentally and physically handicapped girl, about my age, has recently been abandoned by her family, moved into a disability home where she lives with other “different” people who spit up, potty on themselves and play in it; a place where she doesn’t get bathed regularly and lives with lice and a shaved head. She has every reason to be sad—she hurts. It made me realize that these people feel and hurt as much as any human being and only a relationship with a loving Savior could possibly bring comfort and peace into their lives. My heart was broken.

While many of them are not at all children, they are children, even babies, in their minds, and I am reminded of verses such as Matt. 19:24, “Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these;’” and Psalm 8:1-2, “O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth…From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise;” and Matt. 18:5, “And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.” As my heart breaks for them, I have grown to love these handicapped people of Garbage Village in a new way—as blessed children created by my God; the same God who created me and everyone and everything.

Lastly, my time here includes involvement with the international community church. Jon Wommack, my two roommates, and I run the church’s youth group of about 26 kids—I absolutely love these kids! They are from all over the world and are a joy to be around and get to know. I also lead a high school girls’ small group which is just starting up. I’m very excited about what this Bible Study has in store for the girls, and for me as well! Pray that the Lord will use me to reach these teens for Him, to be there for them in the ways they need, to be a good example, and to have the wisdom I need to effectively lead them as Christ would have me do. I have started teaching 5th and 6th grade Sunday School (which is actually on Fridays). I really enjoy these kiddos, too!

My sister, Brianna, is on her way back home from her time this year doing outeach work in Abu Dhabi and India. She swung by Egypt en route to visit me for about 3 weeks! I have so enjoyed her being here—I had not seen her for 9 months and it will be another 10 before I see her again. We have had a great time together and got to go see the pyramids! She will be home Oct. 17th.

All the things I do from teaching to tutoring to Sunday school, youth group, and Garbage Village are very stretching for me. I had an opportunity to speak for the chapel service at the international school, and will be speaking at the youth services. I’m definitely learning to depend on the Lord and trust Him in all these opportunities; prayer for strength to face the tasks of each new day, a sensitive spirit to what the Lord would have me do and say, and listening ear to hear His guidance would be greatly appreciated! Thanks so much for all your prayers and support and may the Lord bless you!

Sincerely,

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* An unexpected encounter

The past couple weeks I have been in Springfield, MO for my pre-field orientation as a new missionary associate. I met Cathy in the parking lot of Applebees after eating with a few fellow young MAs-to-be. Cathy actually approached us first—asking for money. I wish it had been as beautiful a situation as Peter and John at the temple gates when Peter said to the crippled man, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ…” and he walked away jumping and praising God. Things certainly did not go as smoothly with Cathy, yet we poured our entire evening into her.

Cathy, a young homeless woman about thirty years old, revealed that she had been through a lot which led to her being on the streets, that she had trusted the wrong people and “got burned.” One of the saddest parts Cathy shared with us was that she felt worthless—she said all people think she is good for is “cheap sex with filthy men.” I think she enjoyed being able to vent to a few people who actually cared for her as she expressed her situation and struggles with us for quite awhile—even after realizing she was not getting much money from us. The hurt and pain this homeless woman experienced every moment of her life broke my heart. The worst part of Cathy’s situation is that she did not have the strength of the Lord in her life to get her through, or His morals and statutes to hold herself accountable to. In fact, she blamed God for her situation.

When we breifly spoke of Christ with her; she would not accept what we had to say. Then she took over the dialogue explaining that she had "tried" God before, and He did not change her situation, so there was no point in Him. We realized that what she meant by “trying God” was not at all Salvation nor surrender to or trust in Him. Cathy had “tried God” in the sense that she just thought God should fix her situation if He was really God and really loved her, with no action or commitment on her part. If God would give her a good, successful, and meaningful life, only then would she serve Him. We explained Christ’s true love and true Message to her, but she would not accept what we said. Our friend, fully sober as far as we could tell, ended up cursing in frustration towards God and to us for our faith in Him. Since she was so wound up, we thought that at this point after our lengthy conversation with her, the best thing to do would be to calm her down, offer to pray with her, and leave. She calmed down and we did offer to pray with her which she gladly accepted—initially. As we were beginning she suddenly changed her mind walked away in a rampage.

It was a difficult and unexpected encounter. And her words about my Lord stung. In my time with Street Hope at college I never experienced such a reaction to Christ—I encountered Muslims on the streets of Dallas that were more receptive and respectful towards the Gospel than this woman, and I never encountered someone who refused prayer. It was hurtful—I hurt not for myself, but for Cathy, and for my God whose heart I know breaks for this woman.

The positive side of this is that Cathy, this woman who consumed our entire evening, encountered some genuine love and concern. We did not have much time left so we decided to spend that time to pray for Cathy. We went back to the grounds we were staying at and prayed together specifically for her and her situations over the next hour. In addition to many things related to her struggles and situation, we asked the Lord to soften her heart, to remember and think about the Message we shared, and that the Lord would strategically send others into her life to show her He truly does care.

* What to Do When I Don't Know What to Do

With the end of my stay in Egypt approaching all too quickly, I have been overwhelmed with whirl of thoughts and emotions—sadness, anxiousness, love, homesickness, passion, plans, worry, peace, fear, trust, job, grad school, family, friends, and the list goes on. I was talking with a precious friend today about this place in life I find myself. Though I am going back to all that is familiar, it is like staring into an abyss of unknown. For the first time in my life I cannot see what lies just around the bend. It is frightening, but I trust God. And yet in the midst if my unshakable faith, anxiousness pervades my person. A few moments ago while thumbing through an old notebook a loose paper fell out. As I read this paper I had written at the age of eighteen I had entitled, “What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do.” I was overwhelmed and a rushing wave of emotion and peace came over me. How timely this old paper was to my life! Perhaps it was coincidence, but I believe it was God answering my prayers of “What on earth am I supposed to be doing with my life next?!” I thought I would post this old paper I found:

Well, I was planning all along to write about my missions trip to Thailand this summer that completely changed my life, and about our job as Christians to reach to lost for Christ, but
I have completely changed my mind.

No one would guess, but my life has been in a tizzy since I left for college last year. I have been a mess between my changing passions and desires, and what degree I want pursue among several minor health scares and concerns, the “freshman fifteen,” and trying to find and follow God’s will in the midst of it all, and other things I won’t dare go on about.

In the chaos of my confusion I did not know what to do, finding myself at a scary place stuck between the lightheartedness and carefree days of girlhood and high school (though I did not view it like that at the time) and adulthood—not knowing where on earth life was taking me, or even where I wanted it to take me. Yet one thing is for sure: this time in life is here and speeding by without giving me a chance to think about it, and I have to hop on board this wagon or else...!

There are a lot of young people my age who probably never felt that way—who may have known, or thought they knew, where they were going or what they wanted. And if not, were content with the adventure of not knowing. What I am getting at is not what to do when you are stuck between childhood and adulthood, but to reiterate the lesson I have all heard time and time again of what to do when I do not know what to do.

My mom recently gave me a CD of a sermon that entitled just that—“What to do when you don’t know what to do,” which actually proved to be of little or no help to me whatsoever. At the same time, it gave a little truth that has been so comforting at times. The speaker talked about Joseph and all the trials he went through, and gist of it was that through it all, “God was with him.” That has been a source of encouragement to me to know that no matter what, God is with me.

But I am going to be honest; I thought, “Well, that’s great to know that God is with me through my confusion and seemingly aimless wandering—but so what?! What does it matter if God is with me but isn’t doing anything? So what if God is with me but I’m still miserable, in the depths of despair, and feel the entire universe and all who are in it are out to eat me alive, and I’m doomed to whither away in the utter depths of the dungeon of hell on earth with no ambition in my life!” Ok, a bit of an overstatement.

That is when I decided to go to my Bible and see what it said in relation to being in God’s will and what to do when I don’t know what to do or, or feel like I’m wandering aimlessly through life. I came across so many blessed scriptures. I don’t have any great words of wisdom or knowledge to share of my own so I will let God's Word do it for me.

Prov. 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and Lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and He will make your paths straight.

Phil. 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Rom. 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.

Is. 58:11
The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.

1 Peter 5:6-7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your cares on him because he cares for you.

At the same time, though God is all-powerful and does not need our help, we cannot use these verses as an excuse for being idle but we need to be proactive :

2 Peter 1:10-11
Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

2 Cor. 9:6
Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.

I’ve learned that not always knowing where in life I’m going or what I need to be doing is okay, if I simply trust God to lead me and guide me, and that in all things, God works for the good of those of love him. So I’ll close with another common verse we all know:

Jer. 29:11-13
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.


I need to let the Divine have the driver’s seat, and enjoy the ride. It just may take me to where I truly want to go.

* Heart for Missions Speech

This is a speech I gave a couple years ago. Funny how I would change/add to this bit after a having another year's experience overseas. Anyway, here's what I said:

There is a child in Africa who is starving and rotting in filth, whose father is dead, and whose mother is dying of aids. All this child wants is to know there is something/someone greater than his circumstances that is watching out for him and loves him. Yet he does not know where/what to go to—all he knows to do is to try to please the gods of his tribe through disturbing, unfulfilling religious practices, always living in fear.

There is a little girl, about 9 years old, in India whose father sold her into captivity where she lives a slave—as a child prostitute. And there are thousands of little girls living in the same situation in Congo, Indonesia, and many other countries. No one truly loves them—they are alone.

There is a Burmese woman enslaved in Thailand where she is forced to prostitute herself daily. There are millions and millions of people around the world who live in such seemingly hopeless conditions that our western mentalities cannot begin to fathom—all longing for something or someone to hold on to, to give them meaning in life, to give them hope. Yet the majority of these people are forgotten.

As a cross-cultural missions major, I feel very strongly about this issue and I feel a heavy burden for these people—to reach them, to show them love, that they are not forgotten, and that there is hope, both in this life and especially in the eternal life that is to come.

You see, I believe that there is a heaven and a hell, and upon death believers in the Jesus Christ will go to heaven while unbelievers are damned to hell. While there is a huge mission field even in our own neighborhoods; in America, the information is readily available to all people in this country. Every individual has the opportunity to research the different religions and weigh the evidences of each and decide for themselves what they choose to or to not believe. However, how may one choose whether or not they believe in the Jesus Christ when the Gospel has never been presented to them?

According to Joel Watson, the missions chairman at Southwestern Assemblies of God University, 67% of our world’s population are considered "un-reached people." Many of these people are living in what seems hopeless conditions, searching for something of truth to hold onto, something to give them hope for the future. I believe that the comfort and hope they need can be found in a belief and even a relationship with God if they choose to embrace it.

As Isaiah chapter 61 says, "God gives beauty for ashes, gladness for mourning, peace for despair, and strength for fear." Yet these people remain un-reached. Why are the majority of those with any kind of religious faith, not just the Christian faith but people of all religions, not going out and presenting the hope and joy they have found to the lost and hurting people of the world? Why are Christians isolating themselves in the Christian community, only participating in Christian activities with Christian friends, not getting out of the four walls of their church? I do not believe this is acceptable religious practice.

Christians are commanded to go, to get outside the walls of the church and reach out to the people who need it the most—which are not other Christians, but those who are not believers both in our nation and other nations where is the Christian message is not heard.

Matthew chapter 28 says, “Go and make followers of all people in the world...and I will be with you always, even unto the end of this age.” There are people who need to hear the message of a powerful, loving God, people who need to be shown love, and Christians are called to an active faith and an active sharing of that faith. In John 4:35 Jesus uses an analogy when He says, “Do you not say, ‘Four more months and then the harvest?’ I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest.” We can learn from Jesus in Matthew 9:35, “When he saw the crowds, he felt sorry for them because they were hurting and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Jesus said to His followers, 'There are many people to harvest, but few workers to help harvest them. Pray to the Lord, who owns the harvest, that He will send more workers to gather His harvest.'”

We are innately selfish beings—but one thing we are all capable of, regardless of religious faith, is love, and through of love comes compassion. Reaching people of other countries and cultures with the Gospel is not standing on street corners in third world countries preaching at people—how does that show love? How can Christians convince others of God’s love and the Salvation and freedom available through Christ simply verbally, without action? We cannot. Love is a verb, and Christians are commanded to love. 1 Peter chapter 4 says, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another...each one should use whatever gifts he has to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.”

People of other cultures need more than to be told the evidence of why one believes what they believe, they need to see the evidence. Reaching the hurting people of the world with the Gospel is about servitude, about meeting peoples’ needs, about showing them compassion—it is about showing them God’s love, about showing them what they can have through faith in Him. It’s about getting your hands dirty and meeting people where they are.

Mark 10:45, “For even Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve;” and 2 Cor. 1, “The Father of compassion and the God of comfort; who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” --That may be doing village work in Indonesia, it may be going and hanging out outside the whore-houses and building friendships with the women enslaved in Thailand, it may be holding a crying child at an orphanage in China, it may be handing out food to hungry people in Africa, it may be inviting someone to a missions crusade, but ultimately, it is about living out and sharing one’s faith in Jesus Christ to people, giving them hope for eternal life in Christ for them to accept or reject, while impacting peoples’ lives for the better in the process.

Like I said, reaching out to the people of other nations who have not heard the Christian Gospel is truly about meeting people in their culture where they are at, not expecting them to conform to our culture. One thing easy to get caught up with in missions is confusing cultural norms with spiritual principles, and many try to import our cultural customs into other societies as part of salvation. A speaker I once heard from India told of a Christian church in India her family pastored. This church was evangelical Christian, yet the women still sat at the back of the church and kept their faces covered, like in the Muslim mosque. This has nothing to do with being a Christian believer or not, it is simply cultural.

According to Richard Zanner, some important things one must remember when going on a cross-cultural missions endeavor include:
Understanding one’s role as a servant
Taking the time to learn the culture
Adjusting to the new cultural environment and identifying with the people
Affirming a call to serve
Not forgetting the ultimate goal of presenting your faith to the people

What I ultimately believe is that there is joy and peace, satisfaction, comfort and strength to get through trials in life, hope and assurance for the future, and love that is found in a personal relationship with the God who created the universe—and I have found that and am not content to sit within the four walls of my church and not share that love and joy with the suffering people of nations who have not heard of this faith that has the power to change lives and ultimately provide eternal life in heaven.

My personal burden for cross-cultural missions stems from an unexplainable love and compassion for other people and my motivation for reaching them can be summed up in a passage from Romans Chapter 10:
“For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!'... Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.”

This is what I believe.
This is why I believe it.
This is why I have a burden for cross-cultural missions.

I could not stop for death--my interpretation

Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality.
We slowly drove, he knew no haste,

And I had put away
My labor, and my leisure too,
For his civility.
We passed the school, where children strove

At recess, in the ring;
We passed the fields of gazing grain,
We passed the setting sun.
Or rather, he passed us;

The dews grew quivering and chill,
For only gossamer my gown,
My tippet only tulle.
We paused before a house that seemed

A swelling of the ground;
The roof was scarcely visible,
The cornice but a mound.
Since then 'tis centuries, and yet each

Feels shorter than the day
I first surmised the horses' heads
Were toward eternity.
--Emily Dickinson

Part of life in any society seems to involve avoiding death. Death is mysterious, often feared, and very few people ever want to die. Emily Dickinson confronts this mystifying aspect of life in her poem #712, “Because I could not stop for Death.” The speaker of this poem reflects Dickinson’s view of death—she does not fear it, realizing it is an inevitable part of life. Dickinson depicts Death as a gentleman coming for the speaker to carry her off in his carriage to immortality. Throughout the speaker’s journey from death to immortality there are many genteel symbols representing aspects of life, giving the journey through death a sense of quiet gentleness and serenity. Thus, Dickinson portrays death not as the absolute end, but as the beginning of eternity.

Though many may struggle with death, it is indeed inescapable for each individual. In the opening lines of the poem the speaker introduces Death: “Because I could not stop for Death— / He kindly stopped for me” (1-2). Even in the beginning of the poem, however, Dickinson provides the glimpse of hope in life after death by saying, “The Carriage held but just Ourselves— / And Immortality” (3-4). In this opening stanza Dickinson conveys that death will inevitably come for all, but it comes to carry us into immortality. Dickinson is confronting the truth while conveying a hope for the future.

The speaker describes Death with two pertinent words that set the tone of the poem and provide Dickinson’s ultimate portrayal of Death. These words are kindly and civility—“He kindly stopped for me—” (2) and “...I had put away / My labor and my leisure, too / For His Civility—” (6-8). These crucial words show that Death is like a gentleman taking a lady on a carriage ride. He comes not in terror and destruction, but in kindness and gentility. Ultimately, this poem reveals that Death does not come as a dark and evil subjugator, but as a mere facilitator that escorts one’s soul to the underworld of immortality.

In the speaker’s journey with Death, she passes by a series of three images. These images represent various stages of life and the passing of time: “We passed the School, where Children strove / ...We passed the Fields of Grazing Grain— / We passed the Setting Sun—” (9-12). The speaker is watching her life pass by in this stanza; the children playing represent her coming into the world as a child, the fields of grain represent her life as an adult, and finally, the sunset at the end of a day represents the end of life—death. One may go deeper in interpreting Dickinson’s use of symbolism in the sunset for though the sun sets and ends a day, it will indeed rise again, bringing a new day; so also will it be with death, according to Dickinson, for as it ends one life it is the beginning of a new immortal life in eternity.

In this poem, the terror and fear of death are objectified by the image of a kind and civil gentleman who gracefully facilitates one’s journey to immortality. In the final stanza the speaker confirms the element of hope in immortality introduced at the beginning: “Since then—‘tis Centuries—and yet / Feels shorter than the Day” (21-22). This poem suggests that Dickinson viewed death not as grim and fearful, but peaceful, calm, serene. It also suggests that Dickinson possessed a profound understanding of the human psyche’s negative conception of death, which she cleverly and precisely confronts. Dickinson’s poem ultimately portrays that at one’s appointed time, death is inevitable; however, it is not the end or even a sting, but a process, a journey to a life that is forevermore.

Road Not Taken--My Thoughts

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair

And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
--Robert Frost

In Frost’s poem “The Road Not Taken” lies the beauty in that it lends itself to a variety of interpretations. To me, however, this poem represents the potential influence, power, and consequence of each decision I make in life, and how the outcome of my choices are not revealed until after I have lived it. “The Road Not Taken” is an inspirational poem that encourages self-reliance, thinking for oneself rather than following a more popular path that others may go, and realizing the impact one decision has on the direction and outcome of one’s entire journey called “life.” Frost metaphorically depicts a truth in articulating what each human soul faces at various crossroads as one creates his individual journey of life, and relays that the road one chooses—the individual decisions he makes—is what ultimately shapes one to be who he is.

Each person has experienced crossroads at many points in his life—some are the more minor daily choices, others are the bigger choices such as what faith we choose to believe, who we marry, what degree we pursue, among countless other life-altering decisions. Regardless, each choice affects our future and where we ultimately end up. Frost’s speaker in this poem relays the permanency of our choices in that they will determine what crossroads we encounter later: “Yet knowing how way leads on to way, / I doubted if I should ever come back” (Frost 14-15).
When faced with big decisions we often wonder, “How do I know what paths to take in life?” or “How will I know I made the right decision?” These are the questions the speaker of “The Road Not Taken” faces: “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, / And sorry I could not travel both / And be one traveler, long I stood / And looked down one as far as I could” (Frost 1-4). In saying this, Frost successfully, articulately, and beautifully captures the essence of what the human soul experiences throughout life has one faces his many life-altering decisions—his crossroads in which he must choose one path or another.

Ultimately, Frost depicts that every living person is a traveler, shaping his own life’s journey through each path he chooses at various crossroads. “The Road Not Traveled” clearly demonstrates Frost’s belief that it is the road one chooses that makes each individual who he is: “Two roads diverged in a wood and I— / I took the one less traveled by, / And that has made all the difference” (Frost 18-20). In saying this, Frost conveys the individuality, uniqueness, and adventure of each person’s life if he chooses to make his own decisions, to be bold—to take the road less traveled as that will make a difference in one’s future, in what he ultimately becomes.

* Writing Outlet

We often keep secrets because we’re not only embarrassed to be who we are in front of other people, but also because we feel genuinely embarrassed by who we are (PoemCrazy). I’m not sure this is true for everyone—I enjoy being me when I just let myself go and actually be who God made me. This is true in writing as well.

What’s wonderful about writing just for the sake of writing is that it allows one to get better acquainted with oneself—her voice in writing—without trying to be professional, or write that A paper or short story that rivals that of Voltaire and Hawthorne. Once that voice is discovered, it can easily be transferred to that A paper or creative story, not as a miserable attempt to emulate the voice of legends, but simply as oneself, which is the best and truest (and only) self I know. That’s how I think one writes the greatest, genuine, and raw works—from one’s own unique voice. One can just enjoy being oneself and spilling out those secrets through writing. That’s what my computer folder called “-----'s Random Writing” is for. The weirdest part for me is going back to those old “secrets” and thoughts I’ve have written and see how my “voice” and views have developed or changed—and I get kind of tickled.

* My Mom and My Grandmother

Two of the women I admire most are my mother and my grandmother. One of the things I love about my mom is her laughter. She can get tickled pink over silly things. Though she often finds herself in the midst of stress and chaos between being a wife, mother, having home schooled her four daughters, and baring many burdens of life such as deaths, health concerns, etc., she always finds occasion to laugh. Something I’ve always loved about my grandmother, my Meme, is her excitement in life, in little things. She once told me something that’s stuck with me for years—she said, “I pray I never get too old and dull to get excited over things, to enjoy life. You have to be able to get excited over the little things and have fun.” And my Meme has lived this out! She gets excited over our visits, new hair styles, puppy dogs, and any good news.

Though I don’t laugh out loud as much as my mom does but laugh just as much on the inside; and though I don’t get as giddily excited as my Meme though my heart leaps with joy and equal amusement, these two women have taught me that “The events of our lives seem mundane. Often the small occasions in the front or back yard are the most magical. We just need to notice and then create a way to experience and enjoy this ordinary magic” (Wooldridge in PoemCrazy). I love this “ordinary magic.” It can be found everywhere in life, and though life isn’t a fairy tale, it makes life feel as if it could be. I think this magic is about perspective—opening our eyes to see the magic and sentiment in the ordinary moments God blesses us with daily.

* I Need to Express!

I almost think I don't exist if I’m not expressing. I have to express myself, my feelings, thoughts, and all too often my opinions. Talking, conversation, letters, e-mails, journaling, reflections, prayer. I often wonder if I annoy God—seriously. Does He care to hear my petty little thoughts when there are mightier prayers being prayed? Do I waste His time? Is chit-chatting to God disrespectful? If I bother Him too much doing what I call “thinking to God,” will He shut me out when I have real things to pray about? I fully know God is bigger than all that, but I still wonder if I’m an annoyance, and how He can pay attention to my silly pettiness while listening to bigger prayers of others. But then I realize David expressed every sort of emotion he had to the Lord.

"Maybe one day I’ll grow wings and graduate to silence” (Susan Wooldridge in PoemCrazy). My dad and sister can keep silent, not express anything, and they’re okay. If I keep too much in too long without expression of some form, I feel like I’m going to explode! Or cry. But there is truly something we discover about ourselves through expression, “A mirror shows me my face, a poem shows me my soul." Are those of us who need expression not as strong as those like my dad or my sister? Do we not know ourselves as well, or how to deal with our thoughts and emotions? But I think I like to have to catch myself through expression—I want more than to stay in a predictable box of "myself." As Wooldridge says, “For now, not only do I discover myself when I write...I learn that I’m larger than I thought." And that’s a good thing.

* So DREAM!

I’m a dreamer. I can easily spend hours lying awake in bed in the early hours of the morning, or in the shower—not because it takes me an hour to wash my hair, but because I’m daydreaming, utterly lost in my imagination, hopelessly fantasizing about...who knows what? And I have fun. But there are those inevitable days where I suddenly wake up to reality and kick myself for wasting so much precious time thinking about nothing, dreaming about things that will never come to pass (they couldn’t; I have no royalty in my bloodline—I checked). It is on these gloomy days that I see my life for what it really is—and it’s terribly boring compared to all the encounters and accomplishments and ways of life and places and people and adventures in my daydreams and imagination. It’s a struggle. It seems as if my imagination may lend bliss for a while, but when I wake up, causes me too much gloom at the true current state of my being in comparison. It makes me not want to dream.

Susan Wooldridge says, “So often we shrink our dreams and expectations to a small, dank room of desire with no windows...I think that what we dream or wish for ourselves, no matter how limited, is what we get.” Wooldridge reminds me of the power of dreaming—rather than shrinking away from big dreams, facing them head on, no matter how huge, and putting them into words, spoken and/or written. A woman I work with told me just Monday, “If you say it, you own it,” and my mom has always told me that there is power in words. I believe it. I don’t necessarily think if I say my little sister is mute, she’ll one day wake up without anything to say. On the other hand, for example, I dreamt one day (yes, in the shower), or more articulated an existing dream, of something that I want. After my shower I immediately wrote it all down. I faced this dream, put it into language, and entrusted it to God to fulfill according to His will. I think those kind of articulated dreams may come true as a result of facing them, not shrinking from them, and presenting them to God. James 4:2-3; Matt. 7:7-8; Psalm 37:4-5.

The origin and meaning of "abracadabra" is really interesting. It comes from Aramaic, the language of the Bible: abraq ad habra. These ancient words mean ‘I will create as I speak.’

* Open the Window--Enjoy Life!

“Open the Window!” Mind started making applications to it the moment I read the title of this chapter of PoemCrazy by Susan Wooldridge. I love life, I truly love life—or more, I truly love living life. However, as a college student, sometimes it seems as though I’m not truly living life to it’s fullest; not taking time to stop and smell the roses. It’s so easy to get so overwhelmingly bogged down with work, school, church, responsibilities, and commitments that I never have time to simply stop. And though I’m living, I don’t have time to stop to realize it, to enjoy that I’m living, to notice and take delight in the simple pleasures of life, nature, relationships, or silliness. Sometimes I feel like I’m being squashed under the weight and pressure of it all.

Wooldridge asks questions that really hit home with me: “Where do you need freedom in your life? What part of you is longing to be expressed that you’ve ignored (or shut off) for fear of failure, fear of success, no time, or because you’re being over responsible?” Just a few hours before reading this chapter, I was talking to my mom telling her I wish I had time to take painting lessons with my sister. I used to draw and paint—it’s been years since I last held a paintbrush outside of my preschool class I teach. I used to love scrapbooking, preserving the cherished memories of my life in a fun and creative way, complied in a book for each year—I’m about two years behind. I used to love playing the piano and guitar—I’m quite a bit rusty now, go months without playing, and learning new songs is getting harder and harder. There are many other things I want time to do again—read the books I want to read outside of school, enjoy the wonders out of doors, etc. But I scarcely have a moment to breath, and am suffocating. It’s time I open the windows again and breath in the cool, crisp air, feel the wind on my face, close my eyes and smile—to rediscover how much I truly enjoy living.

Cult Research--"The Family"

The Children of God sect, referred to nowadays as The Family International, is a high-demand religious group requiring great personal sacrifice on the part of its members. They emphasize Jesus’ teachings against loyalties to one’s original family and stress Jesus’ preaching in favor of poverty and a simple life. The group merges traditional Christian beliefs and practices with the belief in universal salvation, communal living, and free love among those within the group (“Children”).

The roots of The Family can be traced back to the counter-culture movement of the 1960s. During this time, thousands of teens and young adults dropped out of normal society and disappeared into the cults. Many young adults, called flower children or hippies, sought a simpler lifestyle in the form of communal life in southern California. Out of this hippie movement came a loosely connected group of Evangelical Christian organizations collectively known as The Jesus People, which were described as “a diverse collection of pastors, street-preachers, oddballs and intellectuals all trying to communicate the gospel to the counterculture” (“Children”). It was in 1968 that The Children of God sect was born, providing answers and a haven for the socially rebellious youth of the counter-culture to flock to. David Berg, the organization’s founder, began his professional life as an evangelist for the Christian and Missionary Alliance in 1964 (Mather and Nicholas 52-53). Berg also became the leader of a Teen Challenge chapter in Huntington Beach, CA. in 1967—Teen Challenge was a youth ministry of the Assemblies of God denomination—where he ran a coffee house and preached to the hippies, helping them “turn off of drugs and onto Jesus” (Branch). However, Berg received a “revelation” from God in 1969 that a disastrous earthquake was about to hit California, and the faithful must prepare for the end times by leaving family, friends, and all worldly connections behind to become full-time missionaries to win new converts. He thus separated from the Christian and Missionary Alliance and Teen Challenge, claimed to be the end-time prophet spoken of in the Old Testament, and led his group of followers out of Huntington Beach to wander throughout the American southwest for the next eight months. During this time, they adopted the name “Children of God” (“Children”).

Though the earthquake never occurred, many converts remained faithful. The group defined its own social structure and created its own internal regulations: members lived in “colonies” run by “shepherds” and “provisioned” (begged) for food and needs. Medical care was replaced by prayer for healing, and bad health was attributed to lack of faith or punishment from God (“Brief”). It was in this isolated and controlled environment that Berg was able to introduce stranger and more radical doctrines.

Berg endorsed a radical and naïve altruism in his doctrine of the “Law of Love.” Berg twisted passages such as John 1:17, 1 Corinthians 6:12, and Galatians 5:14 among others to produce one of the central heresies of The Family. Berg taught that the law has been abrogated and has been replaced by love and the law of the Spirit which The Family interprets:
"We therefore believe that if a person’s actions are motivated by unselfish, sacrificial love—the love of God for our fellow man—and are not intentionally hurtful to others, such actions are in accordance with Scripture and are thus lawful in the eyes of God. [We] believe that through the Lord’s salvation and His Law of Love, Christians are released from the hundreds of rules...and are no longer required to observe them. They are, however, held to a higher law—Christ’s Law of Love, which should guide all our interactions with others.” (“Fundamental”)


In other words, license was given to fornication, adultery, vulgarity, profanity, even group sex, incest, prostitution, and child sex—nothing was wrong or unlawful as long as it was done in love. According to The Family’s official website, they themselves state, “Upon much pondering of the Scriptures, Father David articulated the theological standpoint that loving God first and foremost, and then our fellow man, is the ultimate fulfillment and completion of biblical law. ... David published...missives that established the Family’s theological standpoint regarding the nature of human sexuality, in which he expressed that sexuality was a God-ordained, pure, and needful wonder of God’s creation. ...He reached the conclusion that sexuality is not inherently evil in God’s eyes, and that loving heterosexual relations...even outside of formal marriage, are permissible;” they also plainly admit, “As would be expected, these viewpoints were very much at odds with the sexually conservative stance of most Christian denominations” (“Origins”).

Polygamy and swinging was one result of this doctrine as adultery and fornication were practically abolished as sin. Using this basic Law of Love principle as a platform, Berg introduced the doctrine of “One Wife,” which is still actively practiced. One Wife teaches that all adult members are married, thus sexual sharing is endorsed (“Brief”). Berg also used the Law of Love principle to launch the campaign he called Flirty Fishing. Flirting and sex were considered ways of showing the love of God to the lost and lonely. Berg ordered female members to become “fishers of men” by sacrificing themselves as “bait” to lure in converts through flirting and sex. Berg also told the men that they were to lay down their lives and their wives for the sake of the gospel (Branch). Thus, female members were taught to be whores or hookers for Jesus in order to win converts and favors, and Flirty Fishing quickly became outright prostitution. Birth control was forbidden, and thousands of children were born as a result of this “ministry,” and were called “Jesus Babies” (“Family”).

The thousands of Jesus Babies, also known as the second generation, born into the group in the 1970s and 80s by mothers who were following Berg’s call to share sexual favors in order to bring men to Christ were brought up under strict conditions in a very isolated, sexually charged environment (“Family”). They were often used for child labor, and drilled in the doctrine and practices of The Family from birth. Possibly the most sickening and upsetting practice of The Family was their exploitation of children and endorsement of child sex. Explicit videos of female members, including children, were created for Berg and circulated throughout the group. Also, photos of children, both male and female, in sexually compromising positions and acts with other children and even with adult members were circulated. In such a sexually charged environment, children were exposed to sexual practices and were sexually abused (“Family”).

Though in 1986 the group renounced the practice of adult/child sex, professor of sociology Steve Kent states that the highly sexual climate at Children of God communes “did real damage to that second generation,” and “there have been suicides in recent years among [adults] who grew up in the Children of God” (qtd. in “Family”). The most notable case of this that received worldwide attention was the suicide on January 8, 2005 in Tucson, Arizona of Ricky Rodriguez, a child born into the group by Berg’s mistress, Karen Zerby, and groomed to be the heir of the sect, and placed on a pedestal throughout his infamous upbringing as the future leader and prophet of The Family (“Family”). Rodriguez left the group as a young adult, yet remained emotionally traumatized by his experiences. The night before his suicide, Rodriguez murdered Angela Smith, an older woman from his youth guilty of sexually abusing him as a child, and recorded a videotape in which he fondles a knive, loads a gun, and shows off other weapons of torment—this video was released to the New York Times by Rodriguez’s wife shortly after his death. In this disturbing video, Rodriguez says he sees himself as a vigilante avenging children like him and his sisters who were subject to rapes, beatings, and sexual abuse: “There’s this need that I have. It’s not a want. It’s a need for revenge. It’s a need for justice, because I can’t go on like this” (qtd. in “Family”). Rodriguez’s murder-suicide has been reviving accusation for the past three years by former members of The Family about the routine physical, emotional, and sexual abuse they experienced as children in the group.

Many of the practices of The Family, especially in its early days, were obviously illegal. So then how did they avoid great trouble with the law? Early on, the group adopted a policy of not disclosing what their true beliefs were, deeming them too “strong meat” for “babes” that would attract unnecessary attention and trouble. Thus, the practice of PR fronting was developed and members became adept at showing outsiders a façade, while leading very different lives and adhering to radically different beliefs on the inside (“Brief”). Also, biblical names were promptly assigned to new converts, and they were not allowed to know each other’s “system name.” This was explained as a precautionary measure to protect themselves from anti-Christ forces—if members did not know each other’s legal names, they could honestly answer accusers in ignorance. This practice was called being “Selah” (“Brief”).

On realizing that angry detractors were looking for the sect’s controversial leader, Berg went into hiding, keeping his whereabouts secret even from his own followers and explaining it a necessary move in order to focus on writing his Mo Letters (“Brief”). Berg taught members that they should live out of “fleabags” with few basic belongings, ready to follow preplanned escape routes and become incognito in a moment’s notice: “Sources indicate that [Family] establishments such as ‘homes’ and ‘ministries’ are still known to disappear overnight” (“Family”). Members tend to uproot quickly and easily in the face of bad publicity, law suits, or criminal investigations. Thus, through PR fronting, “Selah” practices, and allusiveness of whereabouts, The Family has been able to evade authorities and avoid lawsuits because disenchanted ex-members and detractors wanting to take legal action against the sect find themselves with no recourse having no legal names of offenders or knowledge of their whereabouts.

Berg, who referred to himself as Moses (meaning “God’s prophet”), preserved his teachings and doctrines in his Mo Letters, which became the central publication for the sect. However, other official publications include other tapes, books, and internal news magazines (Branch). Though Berg originally began the sect based on his interpretation and twisting of the Bible, as early as 1973 he began to de-emphasize proselytizing from the Bible and insisted that his disciples push his Mo Letters on the public instead (“Brief”). Because Berg is considered the end-time prophet, his prolific writings are considered a “continuing revelation” even today. Also, the organization’s Mama Letters from Berg’s mistress, Karen Zerby, are also considered authoritative (Branch). In 1995, Zerby revealed the “New Wine of Loving Jesus—a doctrine teaching that Jesus wants to literally have sex with members of the Family, both male and female, and Zerby gives techniques for spiritually accomplishing this (“Brief”).

Berg died in 1994, yet his Children of God movement lives on today as The Family. Upon Berg’s failing health in the 1980s, Karen Zerby, known as Mama Maria, began to take control of The Family, and is now considered the present end-time prophet where she reveals and promotes her revelations and new doctrine while in hiding.

Though membership of in The Family has waned, The Family currently claims to have 3,000 adult members and 6,000 children living in communities in over 500 countries (Branch) However, ex-members claim that there are far more members and children than those counted living in the communes. Though the Children of God, which later became known as The Family to appear more family-oriented in the eyes of the public, officially renounced many of its alleged practices such as polygamy and child sex, practices such as sexual sharing and the Law of Love are still present. The Family cannot escape its cultic status and the fact that the organization was founded by an advocate of free love who sanctioned child abuse and incest, and the fact that the organization of firmly built upon this man’s teachings. Despite their official statements to the contrary, the actual beliefs and practices of The Children of God, or The Family International, clearly place this movement well outside the boundaries of orthodox, mainstream Christianity. Thus, “The Family International is accurately defined as a cult of Christianity” (Hudson).


Works Cited
Branch, Craig. “The Children of God/The Family.” The Watchman Expositor. 2000. 20 April
2008 .
“A Brief Historical Outline: The Children of God, a.k.a. The Family, 1968-Current Day.”
ExFamily. 18 February 2002. 20 April 2008 .
“Children of God: a.k.a. The Family, Family of Love.” European-American Evangelistic
Crusades. 2008. 21 April 2008 .
“The Family International: Children of God, Family of Love, The Family, The Family
International Fellowship; Fellowship of Independent Missionary Communities.”
Apologetics Index. 2005. 20 April 2008 .
“The Fundamental Beliefs of The Family.” The Family International. 2004. 19 April 2008
.
Mather, George A. and Larry A. Nicholas. Dictionary of Cults, Sects, Religions and the Occult.
Ed. Alvin J. James. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1993.
“The Origins of a Movement: From ‘The Children of God’ to ‘The Family International.’” The Family International. 2004. 19 April 2008 .

* Freedom

Lord, thank you for this day, for life, for who You are.
But for some reason, sometimes You seem so far.
Help me to know you are always near,
That you are always with me here.
And when I don’t feel like I’m with You,
Overflow me with Your Spirit, renew.
Father, now would be a good time,
I feel like I’m losing my mind.
Help me when I feel lost.
I must find Your presence at all cost.
When I am confused and feel all alone,
I have thoughts that send a chill down my bone.
Lord, I need Your peace; comfort me.
Please Father, set me free
From all these cares and worries and stresses,
The things that makes everyone’s lives messes.
I cast all my cares and burdens on You,
For I know that Your power does renew.
This is my prayer I ask in Your Name,
Jesus Christ, the precious Lamb that was slain.
Thank you, my God, for blessing me,
And for setting me free.

* Into the Unknown

Things are changing,
Life seems uncertain.
Into the unknown;
Moving forward.

I know where I’ve been,
Not sure where I’m going,
But from this platform of uncertainty
I smile, I am at peace.

For I know the One who made me,
Who loves and cares for me infinitely.
He is guiding me,
Thrusting me onward.

I will take hold of His mighty hand,
Follow His leading;
Trusting wholeheartedlyInto the unknown.

* Snow on the Mountaintop

Snow on the mountaintop
Earned through the years.
Not falling from above;
Coming up from within.
Brought forth with wisdom
In the passing of time.
It is the splendor of old,
Through years of living, learning, conquering.
It is not the snow that covers the Rockies,
But the crown of glory
Upon my father’s head.

* My Grandmother

Strength in tears;
Laughter in pain;
These are the things that through the years
My Meme has framed.

Firm against ploy;
A standard of grace;
A model of joy;
These are the things that shine on her face.

Always of love;
Always with hope;
Pure as a dove;
These are the things always in her scope.

Giving of herself,
Never for gain;
Ready to help;These are the things of my grandmother’s aim.

* A Short Story by Me

“Suzy Lou! Get out of bed—it’s after seven o’clock!” my mother yelled up the stairs. I hate it when she calls me that. My real name is so boring. That’s how come I insist on being called Odessa; it sounds much more noble and grown up, almost like a princess.

I rolled over in bed and groaned. Waking up is the absolute most terriblest part of the day in my opinion. But I managed to sit up and stretch my gangly arms and legs. I’m not even sure what “gangly” means, but my Memaw always says that I have gangly limbs. As I stretched my gangly limbs and blinked my eyes that were still filled with sleepiness, I suddenly remembered—today is the bestest, most favorite day of the whole year! It’s my seventh birthday today!

The sleepiness left my eyes as fast as lightening, and I tumbled out of bed and ran down the stairs. I’m a really fast runner, the fastest in my whole entire first grade class; well, except for that bully Claude. He makes me so mad and makes my blood tingle inside me. He always beats me in our running races on the playground, and then he sticks out his tongue at me and brags about his Lightening McDash running shoes. That’s how come I hate him.

I found my parents in the kitchen. My dad was making my favorite chocolate chip pancakes. My dad always makes chocolate chip pancakes for special occasions like my birthday, Christmas, St. Patrick’s Day, or days when I’m sick or have to go to the dentist. That’s how come he’s my absolute very favoritest daddy in the whole entire world. “Mom, who all’s coming to my princess party today?” I asked.

“Well, we invited your whole first grade class. Memaw and Gramps, Aunt Sadie and your cousin Kayla will be here too.”

"Oh, I hope everybody comes! Except for that bully Claude that I hate.”

“We invited your whole first grade class,” my mother repeated. Just then I crossed my arms, shut my eyes, stuck my nose way high up in the air and gave one big, “HMPH!”

I got into my favorite princess costume from last Halloween. I took out my pigtails and decided to wear my red hair down today. I admired myself in the mirror and I felt like a real princess. I looked like a real princess, too.

My backyard was decorated just lovely with pink and purple balloons, tables and lawn chairs. My very bestest friend in the whole wide world, Janine, was the first one to arrive. “Hello, my dear Princess Janine,” I said, “You look absolutely lovely.” Though she did not look as lovely as me, I thought. And I did a little princess curtsy.

Janine curtsied back and said, “Why thank you, Princess Suzy Lou. You look very prettiful yourself. The decorations are beautiful.”

“It’s Odessa,” I corrected.

The guests began to arrive, all wearing their most loveliest prince or princess costume. When my Memaw and Gramps finally showed up, I ran over to them as fast as I could, which was quite difficult in my princess high heel dress-up shoes, and gave them my biggest hugs. “Happy birthday Princess Odessa!” my Memaw said. Memaw always remembers to call me Odessa—that’s how come I love her so much. Gramps only remembers sometimes, but that’s okay—I still love him anyway, plus he knows how to wriggle his ears.

Everything was going super fun, and I looked beautiful in my princess costume. But then I suddenly saw that boy I hate come into my backyard. It was Claude! Only he had a flower in one hand, and his other hand was behind his back. He was wearing a prince costume and looked just like he came right out of a princess storybook. He kind of looked—nice. In fact, I actually think he was the most handsomest prince at my whole princess party.

When Claude walked up to me I said, “Oh, you came,” pretending not to care. Just then he handed me a flower that looked exactly like the ones in my mother’s rosebush in the front yard.

“What’s behind your back?” I asked him.

“Your birthday present,” Claude said.

“Can I see it?”

He brought his hand around from behind his back very slowly and showed me my birthday present. It wasn’t wrapped in pretty princess paper like my other presents and was a little dirty—but I didn’t care. What he held in his hand were his Lightening McDash running shoes! That’s how come I opened my mouth as big as it could go and squealed with excitement!

“Maybe now you can beat me in our running races. I tried to clean them up for you, too,” Claude said.

“Thank you so very much!” I said, “This is the bestest birthday present in the whole world!” That’s how come I leaned over and gave him one big smack right on the cheek with my lips!
I kicked off my princess dress-up shoes and put on my new Lightening McDash running shoes and yelled, “Let the races begin!”

All the princes and princesses lined up and started racing. It was so much fun—the very most bestest birthday party ever.

Claude still beat me in our races sometimes, but for some reason, I didn’t mind so much anymore. And he didn’t even stick out his tongue at me. Sometimes I even won a race, but I think that’s just because Claude would let me win. That’s how come I love him so much.

The end.

* Tribute to my Mom

“Get out of bed.” “Put on your coat.” “Do your work.” “Study hard.” “You can do it.” “God has a plan for your life.” “Act like you would if Jesus were in the room.” “Don’t stay out too late.” “Call when you get there.” “You’re not wearing that!” “Would you jump off a cliff if ‘everyone else’ did?” “God loves you.” “I love you.” These are the phrases I often heard throughout my childhood and teenage years, and even still, from the feisty little woman I call “Mom.” These phrases from my mother, or more the motivation and love from which they came, have greatly impacted my life and shaped me into the young woman I am today. I have come to see the women from which these phrases came as a hero.

Not only making sure that I was clothed and fed, but making sure I was clothed and fed and well, my mother has been my constant caregiver. She made sure I was always safe, while not relegating me to virtual confinement. My presence, my comings and goings, were always acknowledged and accounted for; she knew where I was and who I was with at all times. My health, safety, and comfort were always of her consciousness and concern.

I also had a unique relationship with my mother that most do not possess—she was my teacher from first grade through twelfth. She chose to home school me, as well as my three sisters, to incorporate into our academics not only learning to read, write, and do math, but also how to apply those things with godly values and integrity. Though she home schooled four girls, when it was my lesson turn, she gave her full attention and effort to my learning and success of whatever subject was at hand. My mother was a tedious and strenuous teacher, as my education was of great importance. She would never allow her shortcomings (such as math) to hinder my learning, but would be sure that I had a tutor for those lessons. She was often strict, bossy, and annoying in grounding me until I completed my work—but upon entering college, I realized those qualities, and having a teacher night and day, cheering me on to success, were of infinite value.

I have found, only in more recent years, that my closest confidante is my She is, and always has been, mother. She is, and always has been, there for me to discuss any personal matter, problem, or obstacle that I encounter, and willing to offer words of wisdom, prayer, and encouragement. Her encouragement has led me to accomplish many tasks and get through countless hurdles that I could never conquer on my own. Her love, humor, wisdom, and support have taught me to love and laugh, have given me knowledge and courage, and have led me to know that the fountain of all life and truly living is through relationship with Jesus Christ—qualities I think essential for getting through life victoriously, and also getting through it joyfully. She has proven her trustworthiness and tender love throughout my life, and has become not only my mother, but my closest, dearest friend.

Heroism—the greatest definition is sacrificing of oneself for others out of the love, goodness, and kindness of the heart. This greatest definition of heroism encompasses not only the “superman” who runs into a burning building to save someone in a single instance, but also a more long term, and often lifelong, sacrifice of one’s time, energy, and effort day after day. Such heroes may be found in the nurse who spends longer hours than required to help that patient recover, or the underpaid pastor who stays awake all night preparing a sermon that may touch the life of someone in the congregation, or the teacher who spends countless hours on his/her own time helping a struggling student succeed, or the mother who wakes up before daylight to make sure the house is warmed and breakfast is made for her little ones upon their waking.

There are many heroes who have performed great feats and acts of bravery that are often acknowledged by the media, community, through the giving of a blue ribbon, or a simple public “thank you.” However, through my mother, I have learned the greatest acts of heroism can be found in the way one lives and gives of his/her life each and every day, without praise, but quietly, humbly. My quiet hero is my mother. Who’s yours?

Gloom of Puritan Calvinism of "Young Goodman Brown"

The Puritan religion had a huge part in the shaping of early America and thus greatly affected many of the authors who wrote during this time, Nathaniel Hawthorne among them. One of Hawthorne’s greatest works is “Young Goodman Brown”—a story in which Hawthorne integrates history and religion to exemplify mankind’s battle with sin. Though most critics agree that “Young Goodman Brown” is one of Hawthorne’s best tales, there is less certainty as to its meaning as there have been many themes proposed: “the reality of sin, the pervasiveness of evil, the secret sin and hypocrisy of all persons, the hypocrisy of Puritanism...or the demoralizing effects of the discovery that all men are sinners and hypocrites” (McKeithan). All of these interpretations are credible, and a great argument may be given for each, but the interpretation that will be focused on is “Young Goodman Brown” as a religious allegory and ultimately a criticism of Puritan Calvinism. This is evident when one approaches the story with a combination of its symbolism and an understanding of the Puritan religion, along with Hawthorne’s background and religious views.

“Young Goodman Brown” is an allegory and it is not necessary to choose between a interpreting the story as a dream or literally, for Hawthorne left this ambiguous. Critic D. M. McKeithan says that an allegory is a fictitious story designed to teach an abstract truth through symbolism. To understand Hawthorne’s theme(s) of “Young Goodman Brown” as an allegorical story, one must first have an understanding of the story’s prominent symbols. The name of Young Goodman Brown is symbolic as it represents the protagonist’s youth, innocence, and good nature. Critic Thomas Connolly in his piece “Hawthorne’s ‘Young Goodman Brown’: An Attack on Puritan Calvinism” says that Brown represents the dynamics of the Puritans’ religious culture and is a staunch Calvinist, “convinced he is of the elect...confident he is going to heaven." This is evident when Brown says, “...after this one night I’ll cling to [Faith’s] skirts and follow her to heaven. Brown’s wife with a pink ribbon, named Faith, is symbolic as well, representing Brown’s religious faith and his faith in all that is good. Brown’s recent marriage to Faith is symbolic as well. Connolly says, “the marriage...must be looked upon as the moment of conversion to grace in which [Brown] became fairly sure of his election to heaven.” Also significant to the allegory’s symbolism is its setting in Salem in the midst of the religious frenzy that led up to the infamous Salem witch trials. In addition to this physical setting, as critic Michael McCabe says, “Hawthorne sets ‘Young Goodman Brown’ into a context of Puritan rigidity and self-doubt to allow his contemporary readers to see the consequences of such a system of belief.” Another important aspect is that Brown sees his father and grandfather as symbols of “honest men and good Christians," but with the devil’s correction, they become symbols of the hypocrisy that Brown later thinks he has always been surrounded by. More people that Brown finds to symbolize evil and further confirm the hypocrisy are his Sunday school teacher, the minister, and a deacon. Finally, important to the allegory’s symbolism is when “out of the black cloud of doubt...the pink ribbon of his Faith falls... [to which] Brown cries in agony, ‘My Faith is gone!’” and Brown thus loses his religious faith and faith in humans as good. To understand the allegory and properly apply the countless incidents of symbolism one must understand the basic beliefs of the Puritans.

The Puritans believed there was a constant struggle between good and evil. The doctrine of the Puritans, according to McCabe, taught that “all men are totally depraved and require constant self-examination to see that they are sinners and unworthy of God’s grace. Because man had broken the Covenant of Works when Adam [sinned] ...God offered a new covenant to Abraham’s people which held that election was merely a possibility." Only those predetermined to go to heaven would go, while all others were doomed to hell. This depressing doctrine was originally proposed by John Calvin which eventually became known as Calvinism. Calvinism teaches that “[man] can do nothing to merit salvation. He is saved only by the whim of God who selects some, through no deserving on their part, for heaven while the great mass of mankind is destined for hell” (Connolly). The idea of predestination often gave men a license to sin—either they could sin because they were confident as part of the elect, or because all was already lost with no hope of salvation. Brown struggles with this doctrine; when his faith is gone, it no longer matters for he is damned either way: “There is no good on earth; and sin is but a name. Come devil! for to thee is this world given.” Hawthorne negatively conveys this gloomy doctrine, “lest the reader miss the ultimate implication of the doctrine of predestination... [when the devil says,] ‘Evil is the nature of mankind. Evil must be your only happiness. Welcome, again, my children, to the communion of your race!’” (Connolly). Mrs. Q. D. Leavis says in her piece “Hawthorne as a Poet” that “Hawthorne imaginatively recreated for the reader that Calvinist sense of sin, that theory which did in actuality shape the early social and spiritual history of New England."

Finally, to understand Hawthorne’s implications of the symbols in his story as related to the Puritans’ Calvinistic religion it is important to understand what is known of Hawthorne’s personal views and convictions. In growing up, “Hawthorne could not escape the influence of Puritan society...from residing with his father’s devout Puritan family as a child, [and] also due to Hawthorne’s study of his own family history”—realizing his family had been closely involved with the Salem witch trials (McCabe). Hawthorne enjoyed studying history, and in studying the history of Salem and of early Puritan society, Hawthorne was able to discern and discuss the merits and consequences of such zeal of which he incorporates into “Young Goodman Brown” (McCabe). Though there is much “made of the influence of Puritanism on the writings of Hawthorne, he must also be seen as a critic of the teachings of Puritanism” (Connolly). Through combining his knowledge of the historical background of Puritanism with his personal experience of Puritanism in his early life, Hawthorne came to the conclusion that a system (whether true or false) in which people cannot trust themselves, their neighbors, or even their ministers is not a good state of being, which is what he masterfully portrays in “Young Goodman Brown” (McCabe). Hawthorne certainly did not swallow Puritanism as a whole in his youth, though some Puritan beliefs remained with him throughout his life. Barriss Mills says in his piece “Hawthorne and Puritanism,” “[Hawthorne’s Puritan] belief in universal depravity was colored by an un-Puritan sympathy for the sinner...The greatest deterrent of human pride, Hawthorne believed, is the brotherhood of mankind in sin." Hawthorne incorporates this into his allegory when Brown feels a “loathful brotherhood, by the sympathy of all that was wicked in his heart.” Hawthorne does not believe this brotherhood of sin to be a pleasant thing, but a fact of life for, as author Larzar Ziff puts it, “if guilt itself was escapable, brotherhood with the guilty was not.” “Young Goodman Brown” may have seemed to be a clear-cut religious allegory of good and evil, sin and redemption, and hypocrisy and innocence, but it is so much more ambiguous for one to make such clear-cut interpretations. This is because Hawthorne “had a dual-outlook [that] caused him to constantly try to see both sides of situations, and subsequent doubt increased his skepticism” (McCabe). Though Hawthorne criticizes the Puritan Calvinistic view of predestination and the inborn evil nature of mankind through exposing the gloom of it, he does not spell out his intentions of the truth or falseness of this view, and Hawthorne himself may not have decided on an answer. Scott Donaldson and Ann Massa in their book on American Literature say that Hawthorne assumed a lifelong “philosophy of uncertainty both in his private life and in his fiction.” Hawthorne, as Puritans, viewed sin as an absolute entity, yet this was softened by his feeling of the brotherhood of sinners, but went beyond the Puritans in his detestation of sins of the intellect above sins of the flesh; he did not completely accept the Calvinist doctrine of predestination, nor did he emphasize the supreme sovereignty of God which was the driving force of Calvinism. Thus, Hawthorne “escapes being labeled because he was an artist more than a philosopher...a symbolist of moods and inner struggles, a poet of human hearts and souls” (Mills).

In this religious allegory, Hawthorne is indeed criticizing the Puritan Calvinist beliefs and doctrine of predestination by exposing the gloom of it, not arguing it as true or false. “Young Goodman Brown” demonstrates the inherent inclination of man to sin through a journey in which yielding to an innate evil is, in the end, inescapable: “He had no power to retreat one step, nor to resist, even in thought.” The mentally and emotionally detrimental effects of the Puritan Calvinist belief in predestination in which Hawthorne exposes are not to be interpreted as an endorsement of the rejecting of faith, but as an admonition of the hazards of religion and of religious institutions. Hawthorne shows the sin nature in man and brings a greater understanding to readers of the overly religious zeal that may bring about mental and spiritual detriment as with Goodman Brown, or cause events like the Salem witch trials to happen. Hawthorne in no way denies the church or God, but merely recognizes the dangers of strict Puritan Calvinist doctrine. Connolly points out that when Brown recognizes Goody Cloyse and says, “‘That old woman taught me my catechism,’ and the narrator [adds], ‘and there was a world of meaning in this simple comment,’ the reader at this point should be fairly well aware of Hawthorne’s criticism of Calvinism.” Goodman Brown not only lost his faith, but discovered the full and frightening significance of the Puritan Calvinist faith. Brown’s rejecting of Faith—his spiritual faith and faith in people—and his resulting detestation and distrust of people demonstrates Hawthorne’s condemnation of certain Puritan Calvinist doctrines; for Brown is sure he is part of the elect and certain of salvation but learns through his night’s venture into evil the solemnity of the Puritan Calvinist doctrine—man is innately, universally depraved with “an instinct that guides mortal man to evil...maddened with despair.” This thus shows “that the consequence for the mistrust and self-doubt that is inherent in Puritan education and doctrine...only creates further confusion” (McCabe). Also, by showing the failures of Puritan society and past consequences of excess Puritan zeal, Hawthorne spoke to the people of his own time of the possible consequences of the Second Great Awakening if people focus on religion rather than true relationship with God.

The religious allegory of “Young Goodman Brown” is thus Hawthorne’s criticism of the teachings of the Puritan Calvinism. His implication is that the doctrine of the elect and damned is not merely a faith which carries some heavenward, but instead a belief which condemns most to hell, bad and good indiscriminately alike. For all intents and purposes men may have, so few escape damnation as to make one man’s chance of salvation almost disappear. This is the gloom Hawthorne wanted to expose, and it is the realization of the full solemnity of this doctrine that causes Goodman Brown’s dying hour to be gloom.

“Vengeance is Mine,” Saith the Lord: David, Nabal, and Abigail

Justice, revenge, retribution, payback; everyone knows of others who deserve these consequences, even oneself may be deserving of these if it were not for the mercy of God. Yet whose place is it to bring justice upon the unjust? The answer to this question, and one’s proper role in such situations, can be found through an understanding of the Biblical narrative found in I Samuel 25 which beautifully illustrates the story of David, Nabal, and Abigail. To understand the theme of this story more fully, one must understand the narrative’s setting, its central conflicts and the epiphany the climax brings forth, and the characters with their individual motives, which all work together to reveal its theme: God is in control and will fight the battles of revenge for His children.

To truly understand the story and its situation, it is vital that one understands the setting and context in which the story takes place. The temporal setting is somewhere between 1025 and 1010 B.C.; the time period that David, along with at least six hundred men, are in hiding from Saul’s wrath. He and his men have been living almost like Robin Hood and his “Merry Men”: “Night and day they were a wall around us;” and David says, “It has been useless—all my watching over this fellow’s property in the desert so that nothing of his was missing” (verses 16 and 21). According to verse 21 the physical setting is an isolated area somewhere near or in the desert. This culture places great importance on loyalty to one’s “master” and repaying good with good. When one understands the context of the story through setting, then one can realize why David and his men are in need of food—they are in hiding; why David asks Nabal for food—he and his men have been offering protection for Nabal and his possessions; why David is so irate when Nabal refuses him—it is their culture to repay good with good, not evil; and why Nabal is so upset that his wife helps David without his knowing—culture causes him to see a lack of loyalty rather than an act of kindness. This understanding of the setting and context of the story allows one to see the details in a much clearer light.

The plot and climax of this story is pervaded with conflicts. There is the underlying conflict between David and Saul which is the cause for the entire scenario David is in—hiding, isolated, and without access to food. There is conflict within Nabal’s servants who admire David when they realize the conflict between David and their master, and conflict between husband and wife when Abigail helps David. However, above all are the central conflicts that arise between David and Nabal when Nabal refuses to share of his abundance, and between Nabal and God; for Nabal was fighting in “the Lord’s battle” (verse 28) on the wrong side. David and his men are in need of food and ask this wealthy man whom they have been protecting for help, yet Nabal is selfish and refuses, thus paying “evil for good” (verse 21). As David and his men are on their way to annihilate Nabal, Nabal’s wife meets David on his way and offers the needed supplies without her husband’s knowledge, asking David’s forgiveness and, possibly unknowingly discloses great wisdom. The story reaches a climax and a moment of epiphany when Abigail meets David and gives her speech of utmost spiritual understanding, causing David’s eyes to be opened and his motive to be changed. She tells David he is fighting the Lord’s battle, that God will protect him, and bring success upon him, assuring David that he is “securely in the bundle of the living by the Lord,” and tells David that the Lord will hurl away the lives of his enemies. Thus, urging David not to continue in his plan to destroy Nabal so that when he is king, “he will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself” (verse 31), for it is God’s to avenge. God shortly proves this near the end of the story: “The Lord struck Nabal and he died” (verse 38). The conflict within the plot builds until the end of the story when the theme is revealed.

The three main characters in this story are David, Abigail, and Nabal. David, the protagonist, is dynamic in this story, while the other two are static. The antagonist, Nabal, is a very wealthy man who is selfish and self-indulgent as one sees when he rudely denies David of his courteous request, and when he holds a “banquet like that of a king,” indulging in drunkenness. As even his wife discloses, he is a fool: “He is just like his name—his name is Fool, and folly goes with him” (verse 25). Unfortunately, this character who is driven by selfish and foolish ambition remains static, ultimately costing him his life. One sees the change in David as he at first decides to take matters of justice into his own hands: “May God deal with [me], be it ever so severely, if by morning I leave one male alive of all who belong to [Nabal]” (verse 22), but later realizes it is not his place to avenge, but God’s, and turns the entire situation trustingly over to the Lord. He is at first motivated by vengeance and anger, yet through a moment of epiphany due to Abigail’s wisdom, changes his attitude of anger to that of praise and thanksgiving to God for opening his eyes—“Praise be to the Lord...for keeping me from bloodshed and from avenging myself with my own hands” (verse 32). Abigail serves as a foil to Nabal by contrasting greatly with his selfish foolishness with her sound and selfless perspective. Abigail is also a normative character, embodying the strength, beauty, and sweetness of the soul (Amy Alexander) for which the narrative exalts through her profound wisdom which encompasses the entire message and theme of the story—it is not ours, but God’s to avenge. The three characters that embody the protagonist, antagonist, and normative have differing traits that are rich and deep—Nabal having that of selfish foolishness, David having that of anger and rage that change to peace and trust that God is in control, and Abigail having that of strength and beauty that comes from sound wisdom. Each heightens the other characters’ traits, whether good, bad, or changing, and bring a greater fullness to the meaning and message of the story.

This story’s theme has a great impact on me—it reminds me that God is truly in control of every situation in my life, and that He does care when the righteous are wronged. It is easy to acquire an attitude of revenge when someone repays good with evil, however, this historical narrative shows that we are not to take justice into our own hands, but that we can rest in the peace of God’s provision as David chose, showing others the mercy the Lord continues to shows us. Through Nabal’s death, this narrative reveals that God will not allow wrongdoings to go unpunished, but that He will bring justice. I so admire Abigail—her story in the Bible is short, but the lesson and role model she provides are of infinite value. I find great peace and joy in the theme of this story—God truly cares for His children and the justice of wrongs, He holds every situation in His mighty Hands, and will take care of each if we are willing to obey and turn our situations trustingly over to Him, allowing the Lord go to battle for us. The entire theme of this story can be summed up in Hebrews 10:30, “‘Vengeance is mine,’ saith the Lord!”